Develop communication skills in your team

In many organisations, teams work side by side like islands. Everyone is busy, processes are running, tasks are being completed. Yet a silent gap often grows. Not because people do not want to work together, but because there is little space to express what is really going on.

At De Pinte dental practice, there were two distinct worlds: the team of dentists and the team of assistants. Both worked around the same goal - quality care for patients - but from different roles and responsibilities. In addition, there was tension within the assistant team itself: handovers ran stiffly, expectations were not always expressed and frustrations sometimes remained under the surface.

Instead of immediately discussing this rationally, it first worked with game-like situations. In those assignments, recognisable patterns emerged: who automatically takes the lead, where does information get stuck, who feels unheard or overcharged. Because it was playful and safe, people dared to look at their own behaviour without defence. That made for strong AHA moments.

From that shared experience, they worked with the 4 steps of connecting communication:

1. Observing without judgment
   What do we see happening in the game and also recognise in everyday collaboration?

2. Naming feelings
   What does this do to us as a team? Where is frustration, uncertainty or fatigue?

3. Exploring needs
   What do assistants need among themselves to work better together? And what is needed in coordination with dentists?

4. Formulating targeted actions
   What concrete agreements do we take into practice? For example, around handover, division of tasks and consultation moments.

Thus, communication did not become a difficult conversation that was put off, but a joint movement towards greater clarity, trust and cooperation.

In many organisations, knowledge sharing resembles Hansel and Gretel's crumb trail: a few breadcrumbs here and there. A colleague explains something in the corridor, a document is forwarded, a Teams message disappears into the stream. It feels like sharing, but a lot gets lost along the way. New colleagues do not always find their way back, teams build on assumptions and valuable experience knowledge of ancients often remains implicit.

True knowledge sharing requires more than loose crumbs. It requires anchoring: shared language, shared rhythms and moments when people reflect together on how they work, learn and decide. Especially in contexts where people have similar roles (such as SPOCs) and mainly collaborate on projects, there is a high risk of everyone walking their own path even though the job content is almost identical.

At Elia Transmission (a session we gave recently), that area of tension became very concrete. Employees worked strongly in expert roles, with lots of project consultations, but little space to reflect on how knowledge was passed on between colleagues. Instead of classical workshops, we opted for game-based situations in which teams literally had to “build”, “pass on” and “translate”. This experience revealed where knowledge got stuck, where interpretations differed and where transfer took place too quickly or too technically.

What emerged there was not an extra procedure, but a shared awareness:

• that knowledge only lives on if it is shared and understood

• That onboarding is not just about information, but about making meaning together

• that connection is the bridge between expertise and cooperation

Thus, the breadcrumb trail did not become a trail that disappears, but a more solid path carried by the team itself.

Psychological safety is not created by posters or PowerPoints, but by courageous conversations.
Start with yourself: name what you feel and what you need.

"I feel insecure when I don't get context - can you share that?"
By living that out, you invite others to do the same.
Use the feeling-needs-requesting scheme from Nonviolent Communication To practice openness.
Safety grows not through silence, but through honesty. Want to know more? Read more in the article "Safe setting in a brainstorm"

Communicating clearly starts with expectations. What is part of your role, and what is not?
Many frustrations arise because that is never really expressed.

Use conversations to check: "What do you expect from me? And what should I expect from you?"

Making roles and talents visible automatically creates softness - because then you see the person behind the task.

Model: Work with a role and talent card to see who excels at what. That's how you build clarity with warmth.

Empathy is not a hugging competition, it is attention with feeling.
Empathic listening is all about recognising and naming what someone is feeling.
You don't have to solve it, just be present for a moment:

"I hear this is difficult for you."
Small sentences, big effect. Because once someone feels acknowledged, peace and connection is created.

Exercise: In conversations, repeat what you think the other person is feeling. You'll be surprised how much that little mirror yields.

A tool is not a panacea. Or as we say:
A fool with a tool is still a fool.
Teams, Slack or mail do not solve communication problems - they often magnify them.

Use digital tools for what they are: support. The real connection comes in conversation.
If it is complex, sensitive or emotional... call. One sincere voice outweighs 10 well-meaning messages.

And make working agreements. Those working agreements are much more important whether it is through teams, zoom or by carrier pigeon.

Every misunderstanding starts with an image we form of reality.
That image is influenced by our mood, assumptions and previous experiences.
Use the image-following-feeling-behaviour principle:

"I saw that you were silent during the meeting (image). This made me think you didn't agree (consequence). That made me insecure (feeling). Is that image actually correct?"
Checking your own image instead of condemning will give you clarity.

We often take something personally that was not meant to be - so start with the mirror, not the other person.

How well do you listen? Or does your attention sometimes sink when someone is talking to you?

Real listening means stopping for a moment to think about what you are about to say. Focus on the other person, repeat what you hear ("If I understand correctly, do you mean that...?") and ask clarifying questions. Allow silences - this gives room for depth. The goal is not to solve the problem, but to make the other person feel heard.

Listening is like sports - everyone says they do it, but few actually train it.

There are 5 levels of listening, from “not listening” or simply “ignoring” or “pretending to listen” to “listening with empathy”.
Most people get stuck on “I hear your words”, but really listening means: I hear what you don't say.

This requires silence, curiosity and the courage to not want to fix anything for a while.

Feedback only works if it comes from connection, not frustration. Start with what goes well, then specifically name the behaviour you want to discuss ("I noticed that...") and describe the effect it has on you or the team. Close with a question rather than a judgement, e.g. "How do you see that yourself?" This keeps the conversation open and constructive.

Feedback does not have to be a sermon on thunder - it is a gift, if you wrap it well.

Use the 4 G's:

Behaviour - what specifically did you see or hear?
Consequence - what did that do to you or the team?
Feeling - what effect did that have emotionally?
Desired behaviour - what would you rather see or try?

That way, you stick to the facts, avoid judgements, and open the door to growth.
End with a question - “How do you see it yourself?” - that makes the conversation two-way.